Home Page…The Random Blog Spot

siggy — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:15:05 +0000

A funny thing happened when I was on the hunt for stupid people videos…I came across a site with banned Volkswagon commercials. Now I know full well why this commercial was banned, but seriously…if you can get past the racist branding in it, you will LOL. I grew up in the 70’s, where everyone and their uncle had a cuckcoo clock. If you are easily offended, then I don’t suggest watching this video.

There are many stupid situations, and stupid people to go with them…here’s one that I thought was worth sharing:

TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW??

This has been around for a while, but it never gets old. Enjoy this, and share it!!!

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know,
but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

No, these are not belly buttons...

A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’ I politely said, ‘This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’ Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear ‘Get the right f***ing number!’ and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn ’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an asshole!’ and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an asshole!’

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my theraputic ’asshole’ calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, ‘Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?’

He yelled ‘NO!’ and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an asshole!’ and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’ He said,’Yes, it is.’

I then asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’ He said, ‘Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .. It’s a yellow ranch style house and the car’s parked right out in front.’

I asked, ‘What’s your name?’ He said, ‘My name is Don Hansen,’

I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Don?’ He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’

I said, ‘Listen, Don, can I tell you something?’ He said, ‘Yes?’ I said, ‘Don, you’re an asshole!’ Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea…

I called asshole #1.

He said, ‘Hello.’ I said, ‘You’re an asshole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.)

He asked, ‘Are you still there?’ I said, ‘Yeah!’

He screamed, ‘Stop calling me,’ I said, ‘Make me,’

He asked, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘My name is Don Hansen.’ He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’ I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.’

He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.’ I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,’ and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, ‘Hello?’ I said, ‘Hello, asshole,’ He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’ I said, ‘You’ll what?’ He exclaimed, ‘I’ll kick your ass,’ I answered, ‘Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.’

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax ..

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work!!!

Anger Management?

siggy — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:53:04 +0000

Jan 20, 2010…

For years I’ve wondered exactly how one would go about “f**cking themselves”. Well, the wait is over as I’ve finally found THE instructional video to answer this time honoured question…How exactly does one go “F**k Themselves?”

While dealing with a little Anger Management of my own, I’d like to send a giant FA.Q.AZ.OL to the fa.khead who thought it would be fun to hack this site. May the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your armpits.

Moving forward, the site has been rebuilt and open for comments. Go ahead, submit your own freely added quotes from A-Z online today. It’s ok, your mother doesn’t have an account here (yet).

BTW – Malcom In The Middle’s Mom is my hero…

FA.Q.AZ.OL » Uncategorized

Home Page…The Random Blog Spot

TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW??

Unlucky?

Reporters Attacked!

Soccer Madness

Anger Management?

One more “Parking Lot Video” for you to enjoy…